grumble grumble

I got a letter from my American friend last night. it got me thinking. He is so happy with his life, so content, so many choices for relationships and has got back for a bit with his first serious girlfriend. I just feel so anxious about all of that. I put myself out there, but i guess im so picky. I know i shouldnt settle for just anyone, but at the same time, i need to…well..not judge people so quickly? Im not looking for a life partner or anything, just someone special. and different. sometimes it makes me excited and other times i jsut feel lonely.

:(